HOMETOWN: I TRY TO AVOID SELF-DOXXING AS MUCH AS I CAN. BURNED MYSELF A FEW TIMES THIS WAY. IF ANYONE WANTS TO DIG AROUND ENOUGH, I'M SURE THEY'LL BE ABLE TO FIND A LESS-OBSCURE ANSWER TO THIS QUESTION. IF I WANT TO ANSWER IN A MORE ESOTERIC WAY: THE HOMETOWN IS WHERE THE HEART IS, AND TO QUOTE METALLICA, "WHERE I LAY MY HEAD IS HOME."
STANCE: (IR)REGULAR. LEARNED TO CATCH AND THROW A BASEBALL WITH MY LEFT HAND. WRITE WITH MY LEFT HAND. BAT RIGHT HANDED. SHOOT A BASKETBALL LEFT HANDED. THROW A FOOTBALL (THE USA KIND) LEFT HANDED. STILL SKATE WITH MY LEFT FOOT FORWARD LIKE MANY RIGHT-HANDERS. MY SWITCH FLIPS ARE SH*T, MY SWITCH HEEL FLIPS ARE BETTER THAN MY REGULAR HEEL FLIPS. I WIELD AN EXACTO KNIFE WITH MORE PRECISION USING MY RIGHT HAND. HOW DOES THIS ALL TRANSLATE INTO A SKATING "STANCE"? I'M NOT SURE. SO: (IR)REGULAR IS MY BEST ANSWER.
AGE YOU STARTED SKATING: ~57 YEARS OLD, ACCORDING TO MY LATE BEAGLE (R.I.PUPPYLAND).
FAVORITE SPOT TO SKATE IN THE SGV: JUST LIKE IF SOMEONE ASKED "YOU" WHO YOUR FAVORITE SKATER IS—AS A SKATER—IT'S EXTREMELY DIFFICULT TO PINPOINT A SINGLE SPOT. HENCE, I'LL LIST A FEW THAT STAND OUT:
1. HIGH SCHOOL 1
2. THE OBSTACLES THAT (USED TO?) BE ACROSS THE STREET FROM HIGH SCHOOL 2.
3. THIS ONE CHURCH LEDGE ACROSS FROM A WELL-KNOWN BURGER SPOT.
4. SOME RANDOM BUMP TO LEDGE NEAR A PET SMART.
5. A RANDOM DRIVEWAY BUMP OVER SOME METAL POLE THING ACROSS FROM A 7-11. I'D OLLIE IT BACK-TO-BACK WITH THE HOMIE MATT AVILA EVERY TIME WE SKATED DOWN THAT STREET.
6. A DIY SPOT I HARDLY CONTRIBUTED TO (DID SOME SWEEPING).
7. A DIY SPOT I DIDN'T CONTRIBUTE TO AT ALL.
8. SOME RAISED CIRCLE MANNY PADS NEAR A SKATEPARK (I FORGET WHICH PARK).
9. ELEMENTARY SCHOOL 1.
10. SOME SKETCHY SPOTS ON A STREET AT THE JUNCTION BETWEEN MONTEREY PARK, ALHAMBRA, AND EAST LA. (RAILS, STAIRS, BUMPS OVER STUFF; ALL KINDS OF SKETCHY GROUND).
11. MIDDLE SCHOOL 1 (WHEN IT WAS EASY TO SKATE WITHOUT A HASSLE).
12. ELEMENTARY SCHOOL 2.
13. ELEMENTARY SCHOOL 3.
14. ANY SKATEPARK THAT EXISTED SINCE 1999 THAT I HAVE BEEN TO. (THE TIME FRAME IS A GUESS. WHEN I WAS A GROM—ERR, I MIGHT STILL BE A GROM, BUT I DIGRESS—I SEARCHED THE YELLOW/WHITE PAGES FOR A SKATEPARK. MY MOM TOOK ME ON AN ADVENTURE TO FIND THE PIPELINE SKATEPARK. IT WAS NO MORE. THE CLAREMONT PARK WAS THE FIRST ONE I EVER WENT TO. I'LL ALWAYS HAVE A SOFT SPOT FOR THAT PARK.)
15. SOME RED CURB AT THE BACK OF (WHAT WAS) A SANDWICH SPOT.
16. A LEDGE ON THE SIDE OF A HOUSE NEAR ONE OF MY ELEMENTARY SCHOOL FRIEND'S HOUSE. YEARS LATER, I FOUND OUT THAT THE PEOPLE WHO OWNED THAT SPOT WERE ALSO THE GRANDPARENTS OF SOME OF MY OTHER FRIENDS, AND APPARENTLY, THEY ABSOLUTELY HATED ME FOR WAXING UP THAT THANG, HAHA! THAT THANG WAS FUN AS F*CK!
17. ALL THE SUBURBAN GRASS GAPS AND BIG CURB CUTS ALONG MY USUAL PATHS. BIG CURB CUTS THAT WERE ON INCLINES—AT THE START OF OR IN THE MIDDLE—OF HILLS CAN'T BE BEAT FOR SOME GREAT-FEELING OLLIES!
18. ELEMENTARY SCHOOL 4.
19. A PARK WITH A 3-STAIR-KINKED RAIL I USED TO BOARD SLIDE, AND THE 9-STAIR RAIL I USED TO CAVE-MAN BOARD SLIDE BEFORE PLAYING ELEMENTARY SCHOOL BASKETBALL GAMES.
20. THE ORDER-A-RAMP I HAD AS A KID THAT WAS SET UP ALL F*CKED.
21. A "LADYBUG" QUARTER-PIPE THAT LANCE USED IN "THE FIRM: CAN'T STOP", WHICH HE GAVE ME. I COUPLED IT WITH MY F*CKED UP LAUNCH RAMP (SEE #20) WHICH MADE FOR ONE OF THE WORST EMULATIONS OF A MINI RAMP YOU'VE EVER SEEN!
22. A FUN BOX MY HOMIE HAD AT THEIR PAD. WE WOULD SET IT UP SO THE BOX WAS POSITIONED OVER THE GRASS THAT WAS BETWEEN THE SIDEWALK AND THE STREET. WE WOULD USE THEIR WALK-WAY THAT LED TO THE ENTRANCE OF THEIR HOUSE AS A RUN-UP. SO, WHEN WE SKATED IT, WE COULD GRIND THE THING OVER THE GRASS GAP AND DROP OFF INTO THE STREET.
23. MY FUN BOX (R.I.P). THE HOMIE MOVED AWAY FROM MY AREA AND LEFT ME WITH THE BOX (#22). IT WAS 3FT X 6FT. I DECIDED TO CUT IT THROUGH THE MIDDLE, LENGTHWISE, AND TURN IT INTO A 1.5FT X 12FT. I SKATED THAT THING FOR YEARS BEFORE I "FELL OFF". ENDED UP GIVING IT TO A HOMIE SO OTHERS COULD GET SOME DAMN FUN FROM IT. LAST I HEARD IT WAS AT A DIY AND ENDED UP BECOMING VICTIM TO SOME DEVELOPERS "CLEANING" UP THE SPOT. C'EST LA VIE. GOOD GAMES!
24. FLAT GROUND AT THE PAD. WHETHER BACKYARD, OR IN THE STREET WITH MY HEADPHONES WHILE HOPING I SENSE CARS BLINDLY ROLLING AROUND THE CORNER. THAT SPICE TO LIFE IS "CLUTCH".
25. WHAT I CALL "THE RIVER": ANY SIDEWALK ON A RAINY DAY. THE GOAL WAS TO OLLIE OFF THE CURB AND OVER "THE RIVER".
FAVORITE TRICK: THIS IS TOUGH. FAVORITE, OR MOST PROUD OF? IS THERE A DIFFERENCE? I HAVE A FEW. I'LL RATE THEM FROM "LEAST DIFFICULT AND ENJOYABLE" TO "MOST DIFFICULT AND PROUD OF." (I SHOULD NOTE THAT I AM NOT TAKING TIME INTO ACCOUNT, SO THE "LEAST DIFFICULT" ON THIS LIST MAY NOT BE THE "LEAST DIFFICULT" FOR ME TODAY):
● THE ALMIGHTY KICK FLIP. A GOOD KICK FLIP JUST FEELS GOOD.
● SWITCH 180. I LOVE HOW A NICE, POPPY SWITCH 180 FEELS WHEN THE BOARD IS GLUED TO MY FEET.
● NOLLIE 180. SAME AS SWITCH 180. SOMETHING JUST FEELS GOOD.
● SWITCH FRONTSIDE 360 OLLIE. I LOVE THE FEELING OF A GOOD ONE. ESPECIALLY ON FLAT.
● FRONTSIDE FLIP OFF OF SOMETHING. PREFERABLY A HIP/PYRAMID.
● NOLLIE BACKSIDE BIG SPIN HEEL FLIP. DOING THIS ONE OFF ANYTHING JUST FEELS LIKE BOSS-LEVEL.
● NOLLIE 360, 360 BACKSIDE HEEL FLIP. MAKES (MAYBE "MADE" IS MORE ACCURATE) ME FEEL I STILL GOT "IT," AND MAKES/MADE ME FEEL GOOD WHEN DONE "CORRECTLY".
● KICKFLIP FRONT CROOKS. HAD THEM ON LOCK FOR A WHILE. I FELT LIKE A GODDAMNED KING!
● FIVE-0 TO SWITCH CROOKS. I WAS SO PROUD WHEN I HAD THESE SEMI-CONSISTENTLY.
● SWITCH HEEL FLIP BACK SIDE TAIL SLIDE. I HAD THEM WITH SHUVS OUT AT ONE POINT. FEELS SO GOOD.
● BACKSIDE 360. I SUCK AT THESE. EVERY TIME I LAND ONE IS A MAJOR VICTORY.
● FAKE FLIP SWITCH CROOKS. FELT LIKE A BAWS LANDING THIS ELUSIVE CREATURE A FEW TIMES.
● BACKSIDE 360, 360 FLIP. I LANDED ONE OFF THE CURB CUT AT MY PAD. CLAIMED VICTORY, AND NEVER SAW ONE COME MY WAY SINCE.
● SWITCH FRONTSIDE 360, 360 HEEL FLIP. WORKED FOR HOURS TO GET IT IN MY BACKYARD ON FLAT. DID ONE, CLAIMED VICTORY, AND THAT'S ALL SHE WROTE.
FAVORITE FOOD: AGAIN, A TOUGH ONE. LET'S SEE.
● THE CLASSIC: STRAIGHT RICE AND BEANS. CAN'T GO WRONG.
● SOME CUTTY CHORIZO TACOS. FIND A GOOD FOOD TRUCK OR SPOT THAT HAS SOME LEGIT CHORIZO TACOS (NOT THAT BLAND SHIT), AND YOU WILL THANK ME LATER—UNLESS YOU'RE VEGAN OR DON'T LIKE CHORIZO.
● SIMILAR TO ABOVE: SOME BOMB CHORIZO AND EGGS.
● ANY SEEMINGLY LEGIT ITALIAN PASTA DISH WITH SOME MEAT. WHETHER SURF OR TURF MEAT, CAN'T GO WRONG IF THEY'RE PAIRED NICELY. AND PREFERABLY WITH A BIT OF A SPICY KICK.
● ASADA TACOS.
● ARGENTINIAN STYLE EMPANADAS.
● A BOMB MEAT LOAF.
● MOM-AND-POP STYLE CHILI CHEESE BURGERS (WITH BACON = BETTER).
● A BOMB TORTILLA SOUP.
● SOME CAESAR SALAD WITH CHICKEN OR OTHER MEATS.
● A BOMB FRIED RICE WITH SPAM, PORTUGUESE SAUSAGE, BACON, AND CHAR SIU PORK. IF YOU CAN ORDER THIS SOMEWHERE, I DARE YOU TO TRY IT!
● BUFFALO MEAT.
● DEER MEAT.
● DUMPLINGS.
● I'M LEAVING OUT SO MANY THINGS. LET ME KNOW!
FAVORITE SKATE VIDEO: ALL THESE QUESTIONS DEMAND A SINGLE ANSWER. Y'ALL KNOW THAT'S JUST NOT GONNA SUFFICE. LET'S SEE. WITHOUT DOING ANY RESEARCH TO REMIND MYSELF:
● ANY 411 VIDEO. I'M THINKING SPECIFICALLY OF ONE WITH "NAKED EYE" BY LUSCIOUS JACKSON. NOT SURE IF THAT SAME ONE HAS THE ERIC DRESSEN PART. OR SOME OF THE EUROPEAN OR CANADIAN COMPETITIONS. FUN FACT: WHEN I FIRST MET LANCE, I TOLD HIM, "YOU LOOK JUST LIKE THE GUY IN THE 411 VIDEOS." THE REST IS HISTORY.
● FLIP: SORRY.
● ES: MENIKMATI.
● ZERO: MISLED YOUTH.
● I WISH I STILL HAD IT. I FORGET THE LOCAL CREW’S NAME, BUT I KNOW THE VIDEO WAS TITLED "CUT AND PASTE." MAYBE "CUT 'N' PASTE." SHOUT OUT TO THE DUDES THAT REMEMBER APPLE FARM (APPLEFARM?) OR ADVANTIS RIDE. AND, THANKS TO STAN FOR GIVING ME A SHOT!
● ALIEN WORKSHOP: PHOTOSYNTHESIS.
● TRANSWORLD: SIGHT UNSEEN.
● TOY MACHINE: JUMP OFF A BUILDING.
● BIRDHOUSE: "THE END" (I ADMIT, I HAD TO SEARCH THIS TO MAKE SURE I WAS CORRECT).
● WITHOUT RESEARCHING THROUGH THE FILES IN MY HEAD AND THEN TURN TO THE SEARCH ENGINES TO FIND MORE, I THINK THIS LIST SUFFICES FOR NOW.
WHEN NOT SKATING: TO QUOTE MEREDITH BROOKS: "I'M A BITCH, I'M A LOVER, I'M A CHILD, I'M A MOTHER, I'M A SINNER, I'M A SAINT, I DO NOT FEEL ASHAMED. I'M YOUR HELL, I'M YOUR DREAM, I'M NOTHING IN BETWEEN. YOU KNOW YOU WOULDN'T WANT IT ANY OTHER WAY."
VICE: GRIP LIKE A. HEHE. FOR REAL, MY ANSWER IS: TOO MANY.
LAST WORDS: TRY NOT TO HAVE MANY VICES. KEEP DOING WHAT YOU FEEL YOUR INTUITION IS LEADING YOU TO DO. YOU DON'T NEED TO BE THE BEST AT ANYTHING. YOU DON'T NEED ANYONE TO TELL YOU WHO YOU ARE. YOU MAY NEED EVERYONE TO HELP YOU GUIDE YOURSELF TO YOURSELF, BUT YOU DO NOT NEED ANYONE TO VALIDATE YOUR EXPERIENCE. SOMETIMES THE ROAD WE WALK IS LONELY. SOMETIMES WE FEEL LIKE WE HAVE ALL THE FRIENDS IN THE WORLD. SOMETIMES WE HAVE EVERYTHING WE THINK WE NEED. SOMETIMES, WHEN WE THINK WE HAVE EVERYTHING WE NEED, WE LACK THE ONLY THING WE NEED. SOMETIMES WE DON'T KNOW WHAT WE NEED. SOMETIMES TIME MOVES IN WAYS THAT DON'T MAKE SENSE. SOMETIMES THE IDEA OF "MAKING SENSE" DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE. IN MY VIEW, WE STRIVE FOR CONTROL. AT SOME LEVEL, I THINK WE NEED SOME CONTROL. HOWEVER, JUST REMEMBER, WHEN EVERYTHING SEEMS OUT OF CONTROL, AND YOU FEEL COMPLETELY ALONE AND WITH NOTHING YOU THINK YOU NEED—REMEMBER THAT THERE ARE MILLIONS, IF NOT BILLIONS, OF PEOPLE THAT HAVE FELT THE EXACT SAME WAY. DON'T GIVE UP ON LIFE. DON'T GIVE UP ON YOURSELF, EVER. DON'T GIVE UP ON PEOPLE, EVER. DRAW ON YOUR EXPERIENCES TO GROW WISER. WE WOULDN'T HAVE RUNNING WATER IF ALL THE SUMERIANS SPENT THEIR TIME SKATEBOARDING. WE WOULDN'T HAVE ALL THE CONVENIENCES OF ELECTRICITY IF ELECTRICIANS WERE DOING KICK FLIPS ALL DAY. FIND JOY IN LIFE WHERE YOU CAN. FORGIVE WHEN YOU CAN FIND THE COURAGE AND STRENGTH TO DO SO. THERE MAY BE TIMES WHEN WE FAIL OURSELVES AND OTHERS. THIS DOESN'T MEAN YOU HAVE FAILED. GIVE YOURSELF GRACE WHEN YOU ARE TAKING LOSSES. TRY TO MAINTAIN A PERSPECTIVE OF HUMILITY WHEN YOU ARE WINNING. WHEN ALL IS SAID AND DONE, HERE ARE MY LAST, LAST WORDS: BE KIND TO EACH OTHER AND CREATE SOMETHING. CHEERS!
